I Chews Food

That's right. Today is six weeks post-op. And I can chew my food.

*does happy dance*

With everything I have gone through in these last six weeks, with all the pain and the swelling and the misery, far and away the worst trial has been eating. I. Am. Starving. All the time. I've lost about ten pounds, which might not sound like a lot until you consider how little I had to lose. I was worried about my weight before surgery. Now, after six weeks of struggling to eat, my clothes are literally hanging on me. Do not feel jealous. If you saw me in person, you wouldn't need to. I look like a stick. A tired stick, because I don't have any calories to spare for energy.

But enough of that griping. I can chew now, and that makes everything (almost) better. I still have to eat the same foods, mind you. No fruit leather for me. No, it's oatmeal and mashed potatoes for a few days yet ... but I can chew it. And that is glorious.

A few more post-op updates: My face has returned to its normal proportions. The new normal, that is. I love this new bite. My jaw has angles to it that it never had before. Before, I used to miserably think that my face was fat. I know it wasn't, but the shape of my jaw made me think it was. Now, though I'm lamenting the LACK of weight on my body, I couldn't be happier with how my face looks. The pain isn't bad anymore. My jaw feels just fine most of the time. There are occasional flare-ups, usually after I try to eat something and strain my jaw a bit. My surgeon assures me that this is normal, and has advised me to apply moist heat if it troubles me.

One funny phenomenon I noticed couple weeks ago -- my head hurts. Not my jaw, my head. There are sore spots on my scalp, usually when I wake up in the morning, but sometimes at other times. I was concerned about this at first, but came to the conclusion that it's probably just muscle strain from the elastics. I checked with my surgeon the other day and it looks like I was right. It still hurts, but I can take the pain if I know it's not a sign of something worse.

So there's my surgery update. I'll post pictures later if someone reminds me.

Maybe Later

I know, I know. I promised I'd write a post about procrastination today. But, well … I really ought to shower. And check my Facebook. And doodle in a notebook, and read the archives of a gazillion blogs, and name all [character's name omitted] and [character's name omitted]'s children. (They're going to have eight. And only the two who are actually ALIVE in the SERIES are named. Poor dears.) After that, I don't really know what I'll do. But I'm sure there will be something, and I'm not going to get around to writing that post today.

Maybe tomorrow. Or next year. I don't know.

It's not my fault! Mom hasn't personally made me cookies that taste good yet. Until she's fulfilled her bargain, I really can't be productive. (She keeps making excuses, like 'I have to clean the house'. Seriously. Like she wants to clean the house.)

Now I'm going to go eat breakfast. Healthy breakfast, with no sugar and … ooh. Is that pie I smell? Never mind.

On Cookies And Competition

So, in yesterday's blog post, I asked you all for cookies. Honestly, I didn't expect any. But then my mom commented, and she issued the challenge. Write 1k of Kaz or cut 2k of Sarawen, and I would get cookies.

Guess what?

I did it.

So now Mom owes me cookies. She might have time to make them today, or she might not. I don't really care. The point is, I cut 2k words. I did it because I had the challenge.

Not that I actually need them. The secret is in the competition. She said she'd give me cookies if I cut 2k words. If she hadn't, would I have done it? Probably not. I would have done something, but it would have been less important to me.

So here's my theory: Cookies=competition. No, seriously. Think about it.

Cookies: Taste good.

Competition: Feels good.

Cookies: Make you do drastic things.

Competition: Makes you do drastic things.

Cookies: Are better with eggs.

Competition: Have you ever tried competing with eggs? It's exciting!

Cookies: Can wreck your health.

Competition: Can wreck your life.

Conclusion: Cookies are good. So is competition. Sometimes. But! We need to be cautious about them. I'm a cookie-lover. I'm also very competitive. I think both of these things add color to my life. But I need to be cautious about them. If I get too wrapped up in competition, if beating others becomes the focus of my life, everything important suffers. I lose friends. I lose the joy that comes from setting a goal and meeting it, from striving to better myself. It ruins my life. And I'm not even going to get into what happens when I eat too many cookies.

Does this mean I should avoid competition altogether? No. I proved yesterday that it's a valuable tool. It motivates me. So do cookies. But I should make sure that the focus stays on doing my personal best, not on beating everyone else. And cookies should always be eaten after lunch.

Next post: I prove that procrastination=pie. (Ooh. Pie.)