Cough Cough

So, I didn't go to school today. I haven't had to for a whole week. You might expect that I've written, I dunno ... twenty or thirty thousand words in that time?

Nope. Not even close. Total is closer to 6k.

That's cause I'm sick. My head is pounding, my nose is running, and my coughing sounds like a rabid wolf is caught in my throat. These are not conditions conducive to writing, people! Especially when I'm still unable to chew after jaw surgery. To top it all off, Horizons is being difficult. I think it's caught my illness ... or maybe something different, as it seems to be throwing up regularly. I'm frantically scrubbing off the vomit and trying to fix the problems, but it's SO FRUSTRATING.

SO VERY FRUSTRATING.

On the bright side, I just gained a new crit partner. (Or rather, I entrusted an established crit partner with Sarawen.) And she is awesome. Awesome enough to stay up until 4am reading. That might be all that keeps me moving forward right now. What would we ever do without friends?

Anyway, I have no mental energy. So again, I am turning to a snippet from my book. (Sarawen, this time.) I hope this makes enough sense out of context for SOMEBODY to laugh at it.

"Are you ... Did you just ask me to marry you?"
"No!" he blurted. "I ... I asked you to consider ... it."


Drat. That was much funnier in context. I'll leave it anyway. I've got urgent matters to attend to. You know -- Cough, sniffle, blow nose, repeat ...

Out of Context

I don't know what to say today. So I'm turning the blog over to ... myself. Behold, a lot of out of context lines from books I have not written yet. (These lines may or may not make it through the edits. They may not even make it through first drafts. But you want to read them anyway, right?)

* * *

Guard: Hey! This is private property! You and your sweetheart go canoodle someplace else.

Boy: (splutters)

Girl: (indignant) We are not canoodling! I don't even know how to can noodles!

* * *

Wife: I'm old, [Husband].

Husband: I know.

Wife: (winces)

Husband: That wasn't what I meant to say, was it?

Wife: I hope not. What did you mean to say?

Husband: I love you.

* * *

Girl: If you lose your head like that again, we'll both lose our heads!

* * *

Girl: I was trained to use this on men who are less than animals. Don't prove yourself one of them.

* * *

I hope you got something out of that. If you didn't, too bad, because I'm not going to explain it to you. Feel free to write your own explanation in the comments. (EDIT: Please, please write your own explanation. Pretty please?)

Bonus points if you figure out which character appears in two of these snippets, and which snippets. (If you know his/her name, too, then you're my mother or sister, and you're not allowed to guess anything. Bad, bad family member.)

P.S. Does anybody know how to can noodles? I'd really like to learn ...