Monday, September 23, 2013


I have moved the blog. And it wasn't even painful.

All I had to do was drop a dummy blog where the old blog was, so that anyone who goes looking for me there will find a link to here. Then I switched the domain name and voilà! New blog address.

I hope you all survived the journey over. If you're still with me, give a shout in the comments. I'm still tinkering with the new site: setting up pages, planning new blog posts, etc.

Sunday, September 22, 2013


So, as you may have noticed, I'm dabbling in blog renovations at the moment. And the next thing to go is my address.

In ONE WEEK'S TIME, this blog will no longer be located at Instead, I will be found at

I understand that this shift in our relationship could be rocky. I realize that some of my (like, five) beloved readers could be cast adrift. And that's why I'm posting this warning.

Be strong. Hold on. I'll see you on the other side.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

ARC REVIEW: RELIC (Renee Collins)

Title & Author: RELIC by Renee Collins

Genre: YA Fantasy Western

Publisher: Entangled Teen

Release Date: August 27th 2013

Source: eARC provided for an honest review

After a raging fire consumes her town and kills her parents, Maggie Davis is on her own to protect her younger sister and survive best she can in the Colorado town of Burning Mesa. In Maggie’s world, the bones of long-extinct magical creatures such as dragons and sirens are mined and traded for their residual magical elements, and harnessing these relics’ powers allows the user to wield fire, turn invisible, or heal even the worst of injuries.

Working in a local saloon, Maggie befriends the spirited showgirl Adelaide and falls for the roguish cowboy Landon. But when she proves to have a particular skill at harnessing the relics’ powers, Maggie is whisked away to the glamorous hacienda of Álvar Castilla, the wealthy young relic baron who runs Burning Mesa. Though his intentions aren’t always clear, Álvar trains Maggie in the world of relic magic. But when the mysterious fires reappear in their neighboring towns, Maggie must discover who is channeling relic magic for evil before it’s too late.

Sixteen-year-old farmgirl plays a dangerous game with expensive people and their shiny, shiny relics. Did I mention the shiny relics?

First off, I want to say how much I LOVE the magic system Renee Collins has created in this world. As someone with a fascination for shiny new toys in the fantasy game, I deeply appreciated the vivid worldbuilding encapsulated in these glittering pieces of bone. I finished the book half-convinced that relics were, in fact, real, and very nearly able to feel one lying heavy around my very own neck. I also enjoyed the Wild West setting of the story, something I haven't seen much of in the fantasy genre.

That said, I found that the rest of book fell a little flat. I had a little difficulty connecting with Maggie, the main character, although I did enjoy her distinctly Western storytelling voice. I took a loooong time warming up to Landon, her love interest -- to the point that I found myself hoping he was just a stepping stone on the way to someone else. And the plot, well, it wasn't a page-turner for me, but the fascinating magic system and general enjoyability of the book means I'll be reading the sequel if there is one.

Maggie works in a saloon that doubles as a brothel, although she's firm about staying OUT of that part of the business. Characters kiss in what Maggie calls 'a most indecent way', and there's one scene involving a sort of MIND CONTROL that ... ahem ... is not something I'd give a twelve-year-old. (Although that scene is ended by what might be Landon's best behavior in the book. So yay for that.)

I rate this book an evening huddled around a smoky campfire, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories while roaming packs of coyotes howl at ... whatever it is that coyotes howl at. Assuming that coyotes howl. Which maybe they don't.

Clearly I'm not the one writing a Western.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

WoaW: DRAGONFRUIT Prep Edition

Dvorak Update: Since my last post, I have made definite progress with the demons now inhabiting my keyboard. I no longer quite remember how to type QWERTY, which is good. Less good is the mini-seizures that happen when I get overly excited about what I want to say. (WHERE IS K?! HOW TYPE THIS?! EOHUXUEUCEURCKCTBT!!!) But overall, I have made progress. Hooray! Or, in Dvorak ... Drrpaf!

Hey, remember last month, when I whinged about my WIP and insisted that it would all work out in the same breath? Well, it didn't work out.

I'm still not sure what went wrong. I love WONDERLAND. I love the wonder and the hunger and the gutwrenching INTENSITY of it. But however hard I tried, I couldn't get the magic to happen on paper. The characters were flat. The scenes that were supposed to be gripping were actually just dumb. And after months of desperate scrambling, of writing and rewriting, I finally had to admit it.

WONDERLAND isn't ready. I still don't know why. I believe in the story, and I want to write it. I WILL write it someday. But, well, that day is not today.

The bright side of all this is that I'm now free to tackle Camp NaNoWriMo, the summer session of my favorite writing challenge. This July, I intend to do a page-one rewrite of the first novel I ever finished.* This is a huge project, as the first draft in question weighed in at around 250k.***

And, well, it wasn't very good. I mean, it was GREAT when you take into account that I was fifteen, and it was my first book, and I wrote all 250k of it in a little over nine months. But I had no idea what I was doing, and it shows.

So for this draft, I am doing a COMPLETE RENOVATION of this book. New setting, refocused (and shortened!) plotlines, fresh paint ... the whole shebang. Which means I need to let go of a LOT of preconceptions about this story and build a new, fresh approach.

Which, for me, means clustering. Lots and lots of clustering.†

So I thought I'd share a few of the things I've turned up in my mad quest to figure out this book ... which I'm going to call DRAGONFRUIT online because a) the story involves dragons and b) I think dragon fruit is awesome.

(Not that I've ever tried it. Has ANYONE tried it? I want to try it. It has an awesome name, and it's spiky and oddly colored, which ought to mean it's delicious, right? And ... oh, yeah, the book. Right.)


  2. FEVER

And with that, I'm off to see if I can dig a little deeper into my first scene before dinner. Until next time!

* Finished being a relative term. I've obviously never polished a book to shiny, query-ready (not quite) perfection, or I would be querying with it. This is the first book I typed The End on, which is quite a feat and not to be sneezed at.**

** Unless you have hay fever like me. In which case, have a tissue.

*** For those of you who don't speak word count, that's about the length of the fifth Harry Potter book. YEAH, I KNOW.

† I may do a post on my clustering technique in the future. Until then, this is the woman whose course, HOW TO THINK SIDEWAYS, got me started. Brilliant, brilliant stuff. (And that's my affiliate link, so anything you buy through it helps me out of my current state of miserable poverty, which is kind of fabulous. But the courses are more fabulous ... which is why I'm so poor to begin with. Well, that and jaw surgery. And mental illness. But I digress.)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Dvorak Typing: Taking The Leap

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I just made the switch to the Dvorak keyboard layout. If you have ever tried this, you know that I am currently going nuts.

My fingers, just this morning able to fly across the keys without a thought, now stumble over every letter. (Except, of course, for the letter a. And m. Three guesses what my new favorite word is.*) It's maddening. It makes my fingers itch and my head ache. It has taken me half an hour so far just to type this post.

But here I am. Still plugging away.

When I first heard about Dvorak typing (which was last night, at Holly Lisle's blog,) I immediately knew that I had to try it. I did a quick web search, figured out how to switch my keyboard over, flew off to this handy typing tutorial ... and faltered.

Don't be stupid, said the mean little voice in my head. You're doing Camp NaNoWriMo in a month. You can't afford to mess with Dvorak right now. Besides, you have DEPRESSION. You barely made it out of bed this morning. DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS WILL DO TO YOU WHEN YOU FAIL?!

I have spent years with the mean little voice. I knew what to do.

Push off, I told the mean little voice. Then I started typing.

And it was HARD. Fifty minutes later, I was still struggling on the home row. The mean little voice was back, louder this time. You're worthless, it said. You can't do this. Switch back to QWERTY and go make me a sandwich.**

I wish I could say I blew a metaphorical raspberry at my imaginary tormentor and typed the next hundred words with a will. But I didn't. I caved. I switched back to QWERTY and I went to bed.***

And then, this morning, I decided to try again. I ignored the mean little voice screaming in my head; I ignored the fear and the shame and the WHAT IF I FAIL OH SOMEONE STOP ME. I opened my computer. I took the leap.

And, so help me, I am going to fly.

* If you guessed 'am,' you're wrong. Sorry, but all I want to type these days is 'MAAAMAAAA!!!'

** This is a dramatization, and as such, may be inaccurate on a few of the finer points. In this particular instance, the voice requested a drink of water, not a sandwich. I felt that the substitution better represented the spirit of the demand.

*** I didn't make anyone a sandwich, which would be more of an achievement if I hadn't made that part up for the post.

[P.S. If anyone's looking for a good book to read, MIND GAMES by Kiersten White is only $1.99 through June 24th! Sisters! Psychics! Teenage assassins!]

[P.P.S. Looking at the page, I see that PARTIALS by Dan Wells is on sale too. Post-apocalyptic adventure on an epic scale plus save-the-babies equals one of the best books I've read in years. Read it. You'll see.]

[P.P.P.S. And don't forget ONE by Leigh Ann Kopans! Teenage quest for independence! Superpowers! Kissing! SO MANY GOOD BOOKS!!! SO LITTLE MONEY!!! *passes out*]

Monday, June 10, 2013

ONE comes out tomorrow! (Final Comic Teaser!)

That's right: ONE, the highly-anticipated (particularly by me) debut of author Leigh Ann Kopans, comes out tomorrow. I've already gushed about this book in my previous post, and alas, I've left this one a bit late, so I'm just going to have to post the teaser and scarper.

(But not before telling you all to BUY THIS BOOK! And also, to express my gratitude to Leigh Ann for letting me help promote her really fabulous novel, even while the current craziness of my life made me less than a dream team member*. You're great, Leigh Ann. I hope everyone buys your book and you buy a throne made of chocolate.)

Now, for the comic.

*Note the fact that this post is being written ON THE DAY IT NEEDS TO GO UP.

(So gorgeous, right? I love the colors in this one.)

About ONE (by Leigh Ann Kopans)
[Release date: June 11, 2013]
"When having two powers makes you a Super and having none makes you a Normal, having only one makes you a sad half-superpowered freak.

It makes you a One.

Sixteen-year-old Merrin Grey would love to be able to fly – too bad all she can do is hover.

If she could just land an internship at the Biotech Hub, she might finally figure out how to fix herself. She busts her butt in AP Chem and salivates over the Hub’s research on the manifestation of superpowers, all in hopes of boosting her chances.

Then she meets Elias VanDyne, another One, and all her carefully crafted plans fly out the window. Literally. When the two of them touch, their Ones combine to make them fly, and when they’re not soaring over the Nebraska cornfields, they’re busy falling for each other.

Merrin's mad chemistry skills land her a spot on the Hub's internship short list, but as she gets closer to the life she always wanted, she discovers that the Hub’s purpose is more sinister than it has always seemed. Now it’s up to her to decide if it's more important to fly solo, or to save everything - and everyone - she loves."

Add ONE to your Goodreads and learn more about the author here:

Find a full list with links to the other installments of this series on the author’s blog:

Or follow the author on Twitter @LeighAnnKopans for daily updates!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Two Weeks Till ONE Comic Teasers - Installment #7!

Today we interrupt our regularly scheduled horribly erratic programming to celebrate a fabulous YA debut that's coming out in LESS THAN A WEEK! (!!!)

That's right, it's time for ...

About ONE (by Leigh Ann Kopans)
[Release date: June 11, 2013]
"When having two powers makes you a Super and having none makes you a Normal, having only one makes you a sad half-superpowered freak.

It makes you a One.

Sixteen-year-old Merrin Grey would love to be able to fly – too bad all she can do is hover.

If she could just land an internship at the Biotech Hub, she might finally figure out how to fix herself. She busts her butt in AP Chem and salivates over the Hub’s research on the manifestation of superpowers, all in hopes of boosting her chances.

Then she meets Elias VanDyne, another One, and all her carefully crafted plans fly out the window. Literally. When the two of them touch, their Ones combine to make them fly, and when they’re not soaring over the Nebraska cornfields, they’re busy falling for each other.

Merrin's mad chemistry skills land her a spot on the Hub's internship short list, but as she gets closer to the life she always wanted, she discovers that the Hub’s purpose is more sinister than it has always seemed. Now it’s up to her to decide if it's more important to fly solo, or to save everything - and everyone - she loves."

You guys, I am so excited for this book. I've been lucky enough to be part of the street team for ONE, which means that I got an ARC, which lamentably sat neglected on my computer for far too long*. But when I finally read it, I was blown away.

I love this book. I love Merrin, the clever, angry, unsure-where-she-fits-in-the-world protagonist. I love Elias (mmm, Elias) her equally clever and utterly adorable boyfriend. I love the conflict between Merrin's need for independence and her growing attachment to said wonderful boyfriend. I love that.

And so it is with great delight that I present the seventh installment in a super-cool comic adaptation of the first chapters of ONE. Drumroll ...

HOORAY!!! Now, some more info about the book ...

Add ONE to your Goodreads and learn more about the author here:

Find a full list with links to the other installments of this series on the author’s blog:

Or follow the author on Twitter @LeighAnnKopans for daily updates!

Thanks for stopping by! Come back in a few days when I post the final installment, and don't forget to pick up ONE once it comes out! (Now, back to the WIP. This book may possibly be melting my brain.)

* My ARC was unfortunate enough to arrive at roughly the same time that depression ate my life. And also my homework. But that's neither here nor there.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Introducing Words on a Wednesday -- WONDERLAND Edition

[insert obligatory and witty apology for practically-never posting on this blog here]

I've decided to start a Thing called Words On Wednesday. In case the title isn't self-explanatory, the basic concept is that I throw a list of words at you. On a Wednesday. 

The reason I think this is a fun idea is because I spend quite a LARGE portion of my life compiling lists of words. That's a central part of the prep work I do for every novel, and it's also what I turn to when I get stuck on a chapter or a scene. Hence, WoaW will focus on portions of these lists, each time focusing on a different theme.

This week, the theme is WONDERLAND, which is the code name for my current WIP.

This book ... well. It's probably the most problematic book I've ever tried to write. Next to WONDERLAND, my last project looks like something that fell from heaven on feathery wings. But I'm wrestling it into shape, and hopefully I'll know what it's about by Chapter Ten.

For now, this is the best I've got:


So, given that list, what do YOU think WONDERLAND is about? Answer in the comments -- I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Dear-Undear Villain: TCWT Blog Chain

This month's TCWT prompt is:

"Write a letter to an antagonist."

After some deliberation, I have decided not to write a letter to Scar from The Lion King, as I originally had planned. Yes, Scar is my most-despised villain from my most-loved movie. But I don't really have much to say to him other than "You're a filthy, murderous creep and I hope those hyenas suck the marrow from your bones, murderer."

Which, you know, is a nice way to relieve stress and all, but would get really old after a few pages.

So, instead, I'm writing to someone else. Someone I don't hate, someone I can relate to. He's not the most evil villain I know, or the most brilliant, or the most attractive.

He may, however, be the most misunderstood.

Dear Severus Snape,

Before I say anything else, I'd like to establish that I agree that you are an excellently constructed character. J.K. Rowling is to be admired for creating such a potent blend of villainy and humanity. My quarrel is not with her.

My quarrel is with you.

Everywhere I turn, I find your fandom. They swoon over your devotion to Lily. They praise you for your continued efforts in keeping Harry alive. Some even seem to believe that YOU are the true hero of the Harry Potter series.

I disagree.

Throughout the Harry Potter series, I have watched you deal vicious attacks to the students in your care, including, but not limited to: Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, and Hermione Granger. You have threatened to kill beloved pets, mocked the appearance of vulnerable teenage girls, and openly favored the most malicious among your students.

Were you a fellow student at Hogwarts, this abuse would be reprehensible. But you are not a student. You are an adult, a teacher, designed to be a NURTURER of children.

But do you nurture them? Do you even ONCE express a desire to change, or show a hint of remorse for your actions? No. You are merciless, unrepentant, unrelenting.

And so I denounce you, Severus Snape, as a villain. You may be more real, more human, more sympathetic than the average literary antagonist. But you are not the hero of this story.

Harry Potter is.

Sarah R. Hudson

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a very, erm, CONTROVERSIAL holiday. I myself don't have strong feelings on it one way or another, but I happen to be quite close to someone who does. I thought I'd take this opportunity to share a page of her story with you.

* * *

Valentine’s Day is not my favourite holiday. In fact, if I were to list my favourite holidays, Valentine’s Day would hover somewhere near rock bottom — several ranks below Labour Day but ahead of Boxing Day, because if there’s anything that makes me sicker than shopping, it’s obligatory shopping. And Valentine’s Day is about nothing if not shopping.

I should know. I work at Walmart.

I wipe a strand of sweaty red hair out of my face. I have never been so happy to clock out. My register has featured an endless parade of balding men bearing Hallmark cards and ticked off women who are trying their best to look like they really couldn’t care less about being single on the most romantic day of the year.

I’m not buying any of it, literally or figuratively. I just want to get home.

* * *

Dear, dear. A bit of a downer, isn't she? I'd better get back to her story right away. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! *throws cookies in the air and flees*

Monday, February 11, 2013

Cover Reveal: CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE by L.M. Augustine + Giveaway

Today, I'm delighted to be a part of the cover reveal for CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE by L.M. Augustine! And let me tell you, this cover is adorable. I can see why he raves about the designer, Allie Brennan.

So, about the book. CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE is a YA romance, coming out this April. Try this blurb on for size:

1,135,789. That’s how many subscribers sixteen-year-old West Ryder has on his web vlog series. But he only has eyes for one of them. 

As one of the internet’s most prestigious video bloggers, West talks about high school relationships under the name “Sam Green.” As far as he knows, no one from school, not even his best friend, Cat, has seen his videos. But the highlight of the whole thing is Harper Knight, who comments every day at exactly 2:02 in the afternoon. He doesn’t know anything about her aside from the occasional deep philosophical messaging on why pizza tastes so delicious, but as stupid as it sounds, he might be falling for her. So when they finally agree to meet in real life, West’s hope for romance seems more and more in reach. But that all changes as soon as he arrives at their meeting spot and sees Cat walking toward him, wearing the same “I ♥ Sam Green” T-shirt Harper promised she'd have on.

To his alarm, West realizes he is falling in love with the best friend who has always been a sister to him.

Are you ready to see the cover? Scroll down!

Keep scrolling ...

Not quite far enough ...

Ta-da! You see what I mean? Adorable. And I love the title design.

But it gets better. To celebrate the cover reveal, L.M. is holding a giveaway! Two lucky winners will get an eBook of their choice, and one person will get an eARC of CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE as soon as they become available! (This will be in late March or early April. If you win, you'll get an email the day after the giveaway ends to inform you.)

I ought to urge you to enter, but I'd actually prefer that you DIDN'T enter the giveaway, because that way my chances of winning are better. (Just kidding. But really. Don't enter.)

Even if you don't win the ARC, you can still get sneak peeks at the book by following the author's Facebook page, blog, and Twitter account. You can also add the book on Goodreads. I recommend doing all of those things -- every Facebook like and Goodreads add brings us one step closer to having the ENTIRE FIRST CHAPTER to read.

I like first chapters.

So that's the end of our cover reveal! Enter the giveaway, check out the links, and don't forget to comment with your thoughts on the cover!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Saturday, February 9, 2013


Hello, friends! As the title indicates, this post is part of the Teens Can Write Too blog chain, which is brilliant. If you're a teen writer and don't already know about it, I HIGHLY recommend that you check it out†.

This month, TCWT is celebrating small presses and self-publishers. In keeping with that, the blog chain's topic is:

“Choose one self-published book to read, then briefly review it or talk about your experiences reading it.”

I was worried about the topic at first, not sure how I would get my hands on a self-published book. I didn't think my regular method would work so well.

But then I mentioned this on the blog, and John (the blog owner and Supreme Cake Lord) was awesome and kind enough to contact his friend Trisha Leigh, and she was in turn awesome and kind enough to send me a FREE ePub copy of her book, Whispers In Autumn.

I got the book at 8:42 PM. About an hour later, I decided to read the first chapter, 'just to get a feel for the book.' At 1:30 AM, I read the last page.

This book is that good. It kept me up for hours. I read it on the couch. I read it in the bathroom. I read it in my bed. And now it is my very great pleasure to review it on my blog.


There are three major things that I always assess about a book. They are:

1. The Cover
I confess it -- I'm a cover snob. I do not like covers that look like they were made by a ten-year-old with Photoshop. I have read and loved books with awful covers, but I always feel a little ashamed to take them out in public.

This cover, on the other hand, is gorgeous. I love the font. I love the colors. I love the leaves in her hair. I would like to have a hard copy of this cover just to carry around.

2. The Characters
Oh. My. Lucas. He was possibly my favorite thing about this book. (I mean, he's smart, he's sweet, and he smells fabulous. What more could a girl want?)

I also thought Althea was an excellent POV character. I connected to her and enjoyed her voice. She did grate on my nerves sometimes with her refusal to realize things that seemed obvious to me, and her occasional use of the phrase 'banana balls' jolted me out of the story whenever it occurred -- it just didn't seem to fit with her character. But overall I liked her, and I LOVED her hair.

All other characters fit neatly into the picture. None particularly stood out to me, but they felt real, and that's all that counts.

3. The Storytelling
In a market saturated with dystopian novels that taste like chicken, Trisha Leigh has created beef. Her world was vibrant and immersive: vaguely reminiscent of The Giver, but with defining elements that set it apart from anything I have ever read.

And she made me feel. I fell head over heels for the romance. I was genuinely horrified by the villains. I may need therapy to recover from the death of [***SPOILER DO NOT READ WHAT COMES NEXT TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA Lucas's fish††. TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA OKAY YOU CAN KEEP READING AFTER THIS***]

And so I rate this book a thick slice of pumpkin pie, still warm from the oven. You should go read it. Meanwhile, I will be kicking back with the sequel, which I got for my birthday last week. Winter Omens, here I come!

† Even if you aren't a teen writer, TCWT is cool. Just CLICK THE LINK.

†† And yes, I realize that this is not the sort of death that is supposed to cause deep emotional trauma. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OKAY?!

February 9th – <-- YOU ARE HERE!
February 18th (They'll announce the topic for next month’s chain.)

Thursday, January 31, 2013


This is a daunting post to write. This is a daunting DAY to live. Because it's the last day. The last day before I turn eighteen. The last day before I am officially, legally an adult. The last day, in effect, of my childhood.

I've never put much stock in birthdays. I have my own definitions for age. Babyhood is when you depend on the adults in your life for everything. Toddlerhood is about rejecting that life, becoming a person with a distinct identity -- a child instead of a baby. But even children form their ideas about the world through osmosis. They live to be taught.

Then comes teenagehood, the second toddlerhood. With this stage comes a swarm of new ideas and contradictory instincts. You begin to question everything you absorbed as a child. You learn to take two opposite points of view and find the good and the bad in both. You find yourself disagreeing with the people you trust most. I've been there. I know the roller-coaster of adolescence, and frankly, I love it.

It's what comes next that scares me. Adulthood. Defined by me as the state of being physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually independent. Which is fine when you're a TEENAGER. But now here I am, teetering on the edge of eighteen, and suddenly adulthood seems much less fine. Independence? Ha, forget about it. I just want a pacifier and a nightlight, please and thank you.

Fortunately, I don't have to do this alone. I have been given the best girls on Earth as sisters, a clever and caring woman for a mom, and a passel of other people I'm proud to call my family and friends. I also have a God whom I trust and a passion I believe in. These are my lifelines. With these, I will make it through. Somehow.

When I started, I meant for this post to summarize the things I've accomplished so far -- sort of a pep talk to get myself through the next year. But I've changed my mind. I'll just close with this:

Today, I teeter on the edge of a cliff. Tomorrow, I try my wings.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

How To Acquire Books While Broke

Is it just me, or are there A LOT of really excellent books coming out these days? I know that my TBR pile is shooting through the ceiling. However, in this economic climate* I cringe to spend money on anything but VITAL PURCHASES, like winter coats and haircuts and new Doctor Who episodes**.

How, then, am I supposed to get my hands on the books I so desperately desire? There is no way I'll touch a pirated copy, but I simply can't afford to pay for any but the most precious tomes.

After wrestling with this problem for some time, I think I've finally found an approach that works for me. And so I have prepared this handy guide to enlighten anyone who struggles with a similar dilemma. Behold:



Step 1: Get bored. Go on Twitter.

Step 2: Hear about FABULOUS NEW RELEASE, OHMYTOES YOU MUST READ. Investigate said book online. Drool.

Step 3: Hasten to library website. Find book in database. Put book on hold.

Step 4: Wait for book to arrive. (This usually takes about three years.)

Step 5: Discover that book has arrived at library. Dance and sing all the way down the street.

Step 6: Read book. Love book. Sleep with book on pillow.

Step 7: Realize that book is two days overdue. Reluctantly return book to library.

Step 8: Go looking for book. Remember that book lives at library.

Step 9: Weep.

Step 10: Remember that Christmas/your birthday/Bastille Day is approaching. SUBTLY HINT to all relatives and friends that "WOW, IT WOULD BE SO GREAT TO HAVE THAT BOOK ON MY VERY OWN SHELF, BUT OH WELL, I GUESS IT ISN'T MEANT TO BE."

Step 11: Repeat SUBTLE HINT as often as necessary.

Step 12: Receive MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE for Christmas/your birthday/Bastille Day.

Step 13: Open package. Discover book.

Step 14: Scream in delight. Hug everyone. Go hide under bed to reread book.

Step 15: Rinse and repeat.


Yes, it really is that simple. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to Twitter.

* I'm not quite sure what this phrase means, but I think it's something approaching: State of being a broke teenager who is working for minimum wage and trying to save up to move out and pay for important things like RENT and FOOD and so, so much more ...

** Yes, I just lumped Doctor Who in with winter coats and haircuts. I JUST REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO CLARA, OKAY?!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

How I Broke My New Year's Resolution Without Ever Actually Starting It

*looks up at title remorsefully*

That pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Here I was with this great post all planned out about how in the new year I was going to make a habit of blogging more and not abandoning this place for months at a time. And then Christmas happened, and then there were some more days, and then all of a sudden it was today.

New Year's Resolutions are overrated anyway, right?

So, moving on from resolutions, here are some things I plan to do this year, which I am telling you because of ACCOUNTABILITY. Because if the INTERNET knows than I CANNOT GIVE UP. Ahem.

1. Graduate from high school. This is going to be harder than it sounds, because I was not actually planning on graduating until this year. (I was just going to go straight to university.) And so now I get to obtain ONE HUNDRED CREDITS in ONE YEAR. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

2. Write some books. I mean it. 2013 is THE YEAR. I have a fancy new idea all ready to start next month, and I'm getting SO CLOSE to the page-one rewrite of another one I can TASTE* it.

3. Revise some books. My NaNo novels of the last two years are calling to me. I'm going to be starting on Holly Lisle's How To Revise Your Novel next month, which I am insanely excited about. I have done some of her clinics, and they were all fabulous.

4. Get a new job. This is more of a hopeful, begging sort of plan. I don't know if it's actually going to happen -- there aren't many job opportunities where I live, and moving out requires, you know, money -- but I REALLY REALLY WANT a new job anyway. Not that I'm not glad to have my current job. Anyone who knows me knows that sanding picture frames at minimum wage is EXACTLY what I want to do with my life*.

5. Enter the query wars. Again, I'm not 100% positive that this is going to happen this year. I want it to, and you can bet that I'll be working my fingerprints smooth trying to get there. But whether I query or not depends on how well Goal #3 goes***.

So those are my Brand New Goals for this year. What are yours?

* It smells like strawberry-kiwi pie. Just in case you were wondering. [Disclaimer: I have never actually SMELLED strawberry-kiwi pie. This will be remedied ASAP, because it looks delicious.]

** I bet you thought I was going to say I don't actually like my job. WRONG. I LOVE SANDING PICTURE FRAMES.

*** Also on the alignment of the planets and the saltiness of the sea, and maybe a little bit dependent on how much liquid courage I pour on my breakfast cereal. But mostly on Goal #3.