I Chews Food

That's right. Today is six weeks post-op. And I can chew my food.

*does happy dance*

With everything I have gone through in these last six weeks, with all the pain and the swelling and the misery, far and away the worst trial has been eating. I. Am. Starving. All the time. I've lost about ten pounds, which might not sound like a lot until you consider how little I had to lose. I was worried about my weight before surgery. Now, after six weeks of struggling to eat, my clothes are literally hanging on me. Do not feel jealous. If you saw me in person, you wouldn't need to. I look like a stick. A tired stick, because I don't have any calories to spare for energy.

But enough of that griping. I can chew now, and that makes everything (almost) better. I still have to eat the same foods, mind you. No fruit leather for me. No, it's oatmeal and mashed potatoes for a few days yet ... but I can chew it. And that is glorious.

A few more post-op updates: My face has returned to its normal proportions. The new normal, that is. I love this new bite. My jaw has angles to it that it never had before. Before, I used to miserably think that my face was fat. I know it wasn't, but the shape of my jaw made me think it was. Now, though I'm lamenting the LACK of weight on my body, I couldn't be happier with how my face looks. The pain isn't bad anymore. My jaw feels just fine most of the time. There are occasional flare-ups, usually after I try to eat something and strain my jaw a bit. My surgeon assures me that this is normal, and has advised me to apply moist heat if it troubles me.

One funny phenomenon I noticed couple weeks ago -- my head hurts. Not my jaw, my head. There are sore spots on my scalp, usually when I wake up in the morning, but sometimes at other times. I was concerned about this at first, but came to the conclusion that it's probably just muscle strain from the elastics. I checked with my surgeon the other day and it looks like I was right. It still hurts, but I can take the pain if I know it's not a sign of something worse.

So there's my surgery update. I'll post pictures later if someone reminds me.

October

So I looked at the calendar today ... and realized it was OCTOBER! Please imagine my cries of anguish and shock. I don't want to subject the Internet to them.

*Waits for a moment* Am I done yet? No, there's still a little more. *Pauses to let you grasp full impact of my misery*

So anyway, it's October, folks. The obvious question now -- or at least it's obvious to me -- is WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SEPTEMBER?! I WASN'T FINISHED WITH IT!!! WHO TOOK MY SEPTEMBER? WHO??? *sobs incoherently in corner*

And then I think about it, and I realize what happened to September. Three things happened to September.

1. Jaw Surgery: All right, I was actually the one who went through this. But my September certainly suffered for it. I spent the first week or so taking painkillers, and the rest of the month losing weight. Does this help my productivity? No. No, it does not. (On the other hand, I am LOVING my new jaw. I can feel angles on it now, something that had never even crossed my mind before. This is good. Being able to count the vertebrae in my back? That is bad.)

2. Horizons: Now this, THIS is the culprit. I started this baby while I was so miserable I couldn't even THINK about anything else, and it happily gobbled up three weeks of my September. It looked like it was going to take the rest too ... until this showed up.

3. HIGH SCHOOL: Am I adjusted? Uh ... not quite. My sick week didn't really help me catch up either. I'm still a fair bit behind in math, and I'm still totally capable of getting lost in the halls.

When you look at it that way, my September doesn't seem so bad after all. Sure, I didn't get everything done. But I started school. I recovered from surgery (I'll be allowed to chew on Thursday! Yay!) I wrote over a third of my next book.

Plus also I came up with a New Story. But I can't tell you about that yet. (Hint: It involves a cheapo flying skateboard. Make what you will of that.)

So what about you? How was your September? And what are you hoping to get out of your October? (And for you LDS people, isn't General Conference great? Can't wait until tomorrow. President Monson's talks always make me happy.)

Cough Cough

So, I didn't go to school today. I haven't had to for a whole week. You might expect that I've written, I dunno ... twenty or thirty thousand words in that time?

Nope. Not even close. Total is closer to 6k.

That's cause I'm sick. My head is pounding, my nose is running, and my coughing sounds like a rabid wolf is caught in my throat. These are not conditions conducive to writing, people! Especially when I'm still unable to chew after jaw surgery. To top it all off, Horizons is being difficult. I think it's caught my illness ... or maybe something different, as it seems to be throwing up regularly. I'm frantically scrubbing off the vomit and trying to fix the problems, but it's SO FRUSTRATING.

SO VERY FRUSTRATING.

On the bright side, I just gained a new crit partner. (Or rather, I entrusted an established crit partner with Sarawen.) And she is awesome. Awesome enough to stay up until 4am reading. That might be all that keeps me moving forward right now. What would we ever do without friends?

Anyway, I have no mental energy. So again, I am turning to a snippet from my book. (Sarawen, this time.) I hope this makes enough sense out of context for SOMEBODY to laugh at it.

"Are you ... Did you just ask me to marry you?"
"No!" he blurted. "I ... I asked you to consider ... it."


Drat. That was much funnier in context. I'll leave it anyway. I've got urgent matters to attend to. You know -- Cough, sniffle, blow nose, repeat ...

2 Weeks Post-Op

I have survived. The worst is behind me ... or at least, I hope it is.

The last two weeks have been rough. I have cried and bled and taken pictures. I have lost weight. Maybe ten pounds. Maybe more. (My bathroom scale isn't all that reliable. This morning, it told me I weigh a whopping total of 0.00 lbs. Yippee!) (NOT. I was only 127 lbs to begin with. That seems like a good weight to me. Besides, I miss food. A lot.)

On the bright side, I'm completely off painkillers and able to sleep most of the night. The wounds are healing well, according to my orthodontist. The swelling is almost all gone. So is the bruising, except for one dark spot on my throat. (No idea what happened there.) My bite is wonderful. Strange, but wonderful.

And Horizons is 60,000 words. My record for words-written-in-a-day? Ten thousand and four.

Am I pleased? Yes, I am pleased. Am I sane?

Um ... More ice cream? Yes, I would like some more ice cream, please.

Catching Up

First, a few pictures!

Me, morning of August 31. (Happy Birthday, Lizard-beth!)

My bruising, evening of August 31. I wore the sickly

yellow shirt to match, of course.

So late on September 1 that it was technically September 2.

Really September 2. As you can see, the swelling went 

back up a little overnight. Yes, the deer-in-the-headlights

look is intentional.

September 3, and the swelling is holding steady.

So is the bruising.

Now here I am, sitting on the couch, staring at the

headlights of my laptop right before it runs me over.

The marks where it ran me over, duh.

So that should give you an idea of what's been happening with my jaw. It's healing well enough, though I have trouble sleeping at night. I'm trying to keep my head elevated, which means I have to prop myself up with pillows to sleep. And with the jaw pain, it's hard to lie on my side. I never sleep on my back. So sleeping is probably the hardest part.

And eating. Eating stinks. But my wonderful parents bought me some of the taboo flavoured oatmeal packages, so I can whip myself up a meal in as much time as it takes to boil water. That helps.

On the bright side, I WROTE 31K THIS WEEK!!! (Breaking my words-in-a-day record. TWICE.) I am so in love with this book. More in love than I was with Sarawen. Maybe it's because it's a sequel, and I already have the plot mapped out in my brain. Maybe it's because I'm a better writer. Whatever it is, I am rejoicing as a strong man to run a race. Minus the sweaty icky parts. Plus sleep-deprivation. But, you know. It's a simile, so anything goes.

Also, I had my first post-op appointment on Thursday. Everything is going great. Wounds are clean and healing well. Yay! I got to see x-rays of the hardware in my head. It was pretty sweet. I'll see if I can scan one for you guys soon.

Because Sometimes Pictures Aren't Enough

If you've read yesterday's post, 'Going Under The Knife' (and if you haven't, you should) you may have wondered what happened to those videos I filmed on Thursday night. Never fear! They're right here, just waiting for you to watch them.

No, seriously. They're right here. Look down.

And down some more.

Here they are! I think they're pretty self-explanatory. Watch and pity me ... or at least laugh at me.

I filmed two more videos after this, but they were personal messages to my family. I think I'll keep them that way. They're a little long to try and put on here. Hope you enjoyed these, at any rate! Thanks again for sympathy and prayers!

Cue Panic

I've been neglecting this blog. Again. But there's a good reason. It's called 'I HAVE SURGERY TOMORROW, PEOPLE!!!' That means there have been a lot of important things I've had to do for the last several days. The most important being running around like a chicken with my head cut off, of course. (Note: It's my jaw they're going to mess with. No one is going to cut off my head. Just thought I'd clear this up, you know, in case my surgeon reads this and gets any funny ideas.)

In case you don't know about my surgery, here's the explanation.

My lower jaw is messed up. It has been since I was ... I don't know. Really small. It doesn't match up with my upper jaw, and that makes it so that my natural bite is a face most people have to strain to make.

I don't like it. In addition to obvious aesthetic problems, it's causing premature tooth wear, premature jaw wear, and general issues. So, after consulting with my orthodontist and investigating all the possible solutions, I decided to go for surgery. This surgery is taking place in Calgary tomorrow. It will hurt. A lot. But if all goes well, I will end up with a healthy jaw and a happy Sarah.

There are some risks, of course. There always are with surgery. But am I nervous? YOU BET I AM NERVOUS. Nervousness is a particular talent of mine. I have had nightmares about everything from having to go through the surgery twice to having the surgeon shoot me in the head. (It's a breakthrough in anesthesia.) But I made my decision. I don't want to back out of it. I have faith that everything is going to go well.

I'll post as soon as I can after surgery. Be ready for pictures of my swollen-drooly face. In the meantime, your prayers and well-wishes are appreciated.